October 3, 2023

Kesauna “Kiki” Patterson was two years old when her father, U.S. Army Staff Sgt. Esau G. Patterson, lost his life in Baghdad in 2004 during Operation Iraqi Freedom. Although her memories of him are vague, his service to and sacrifice for his nation has crystallized into a passion as she advocates for Gold Star families as the Freedom Alliance’s 2023 Scholarship Fund Student Ambassador.

As this year’s student ambassador, Patterson traveled the country this summer, speaking to and engaging with others about opportunities to better support the nation’s Gold Star families — which now number more than 1.7 million surviving spouses and dependents. As a senior at Columbus State University studying psychology, she said the role has solidified her calling as an advocate for combat veterans’ mental health and physical rehabilitation needs.

Her coast-to-coast travels and meetings with industry leaders have taken her from California to New York City and from Maine to Florida. One of those summertime appearances was at U.S. Bank, where she delivered a speech to the company’s board of directors, its CEO and more than 1,000 employees. 

“That was a really nerve-racking experience, but a wonderful one too,” Patterson said, recalling both the company’s hospitality and its commitment to serving military families, which include underwriting services like no-cost home repairs, mortgage-free homes and payment-free vehicles for combat veterans.

In another high-level meeting, Patterson met with top corporate executives and the nation’s leading philanthropists to share about her Gold Star experiences, her father, her own military service aspirations, and her college experiences at Columbus State. 

“Kiki’s passion for helping her fellow Gold Star students and combat-wounded veterans is self-evident and contagious,” noted Freedom Alliance Executive Director Calvin Coolidge. “She has been an outstanding representative for the hundreds of students that Freedom Alliance supports each year through scholarships. By sharing her story, Kiki is helping ensure Americans remember the brave men and women — like her father — who have paid the ultimate sacrifice.” 

As the 2023 Freedom Alliance Ambassador, Patterson served as a peer mentor and host for the annual Joshua Miles Memorial Scholars Retreat in Washington, D.C.  in June. As part of her responsibilities, she welcomed her Gold Star peers and kicked off the welcome reception with an inspirational speech about how, as she explained, “resilience and never giving up are now a part of my core values handed down from my parents.”

During the retreat, Patterson led team-building activities and fostered a strong peer support network. She and other students also met with leaders from the Global War on Terrorism Memorial Foundation on possible concepts for the memorial as they visited the future site. The weekend culminated with a sacred visit to Arlington National Cemetery, the final resting place of many of the students’ parents.

“Kiki inspires everyone she meets with her perseverance, grit, radiant spirit and commitment to selfless service,” said Freedom Alliance Major Gift Officer Laurie Avila. “It has been an honor traveling the country with Kiki this summer. [She] is an articulate and powerful communicator. We could not be prouder of Kiki and cannot wait to see what this incredible young woman achieves in her future.”

Applying her psychology studies

On track to graduate in 2024 with a degree in psychology, Patterson’s work with Freedom Alliance has helped her bond with fellow Gold Star families, and to serve and support wounded combat veterans and their families.

“Being able to talk to other students who can relate and understand [because they’ve lost a parent] helps them realize people still care,” she noted. “I can say to them, ‘I know what you’re going through. I know why you’re feeling the way you’re feeling.’”

Drawing from her studies in psychology, Patterson said she’s addressing public stigmas and self-stigmas around mental and emotional health among veterans and surviving family members.

“Military families have a hard time expressing and showing their emotions. They see [showing emotions] as a weakness, and I explain to them that it’s not,” she said. “I tell them, ‘If you cry, I’m not going to judge you. If you’re sad, if you’re angry, if you have to rant — rant to me. That’s what I’m here for.’”

Patterson’s work with Freedom Alliance has also opened doors for her to champion the needs of wounded combat veterans whose battle with moral wounding and post-traumatic stress, or PTS, extends past their physical recoveries.

“I’ve had family members who’ve gone to war, and they come back and they’re not the same,” she observed. “They have kids, they have families, but they feel so disconnected because they didn’t receive or didn’t know to ask for the help they needed. We need to make sure they have the support they need, and that they’re encouraged to ask for it.” 

Growing up as a Gold Star child

According to the U.S. Army, the term “Gold Star” comes from the Service Flags, also called Blue Star Flags, first flown by families during World War I and that continued to fly during any period of war or hostilities in which U.S. armed forces were engaged. While a blue star denotes a serving member of the family, a Gold Star Flag would indicate that a service member had died while on duty.

Today, observances throughout the year specifically honor Gold Star mothers, Gold Star fathers and Gold Star spouses. The various military branches also provide Gold Star families with survivor benefits and outreach services — some of which were inspired by Julia Compton Moore, wife of the late Lt. Gen. Hal Moore and who together are the namesakes of Fort Moore located near the Columbus State campus.

“Mind you, I was 18 years old when I began to understand the term ‘Gold Star child,”’ Patterson recalled (pictured with her father). And, while being a military dependent has helped her fund her education, and being a Gold Start child has allowed her to volunteer with Freedom Alliance, the opportunities are still bittersweet for her.

“You don’t really want this life because you have to lose someone first,” she said, a fact that began to stand out as she got older. She recalled one instance at the doctor when she was 11 years old, and the doctor asked her about her dad while making small talk.

“I just started crying. I wasn’t upset about anything; it just came out,” she recalled. “I now tell people it’s better to let it out in those instances versus keeping it in, because when it builds up, all that sadness may turn into anger.”

Like all surviving military spouses who must serve the role as both parents, Patterson said from age 2 on, her mother, Kisha Patterson, had to be both her mother and her father.

“My mom has been my rock and number-one supporter,” Patterson said. “She was the one who originally got me involved in Freedom Alliance even though I was very nervous about it.” 

Patterson credits her mother and other family members for setting the example of service she seeks to emulate today. They include active-duty servicemembers, retirees and veterans from the Air Force, Army, Marines and Navy, as well as city government employees and police officers. Their public service and demonstrated patriotism set into motion Patterson’s own commitment to community service. 

She now assists Columbus-based Safe House Ministries by feeding those in need. Inspired by her days packing military Christmas care packages in elementary school, she also prepares hygiene kits for men and women experiencing addiction, homelessness or incarceration as they transition back into the community. She also counts her current work with Freedom Alliance among the ways she’s giving back.

“Everyone there is like family,” she said of the Freedom Alliance staff. “I was kind of thinking I was going to work behind the scenes [at Freedom Alliance] and I wouldn’t really see all that action. But to be working with them now and in this way — and to be able to be the face of change — makes me excited as I look forward to all the things that are to come.”

Most Freedom Alliance student ambassadors take a break from summer classes in the face of their jet-setting speaking schedule, numerous telephone calls to return and mounting emails that require a reply. Patterson, however, balanced those duties with a four-class summer semester load. She credits the availability of online classes at Columbus State as one way she was able to stay on track to graduate while serving in her Freedom Alliance capacity.

“I’m certainly learning to stay on top of things,” she said of juggling her roles as both a student and Freedom Alliance ambassador. “Despite the time-management challenges, it’s been a fun experience, and it’s preparing me to be out in the ‘real world.’ I tell people this must be what it’s like to be a full-time businessperson. I’m really appreciative of this experience.”

When Patterson began her studies at Columbus State in 2020, she was involved in the university’s Reserve Officers’ Training Corps, or ROTC, battalion. Her ROTC involvement required her to pass on previous Freedom Alliance service invitations. As she became more familiar with the organization, however, she began to view Freedom Alliance as a new outlet to support the armed forces.

Since then, she joined 11 other Gold Star children in the summer of 2022 to “ruck walk” the National Mall to advocate for a Global War on Terrorism Memorial. In October 2022, the Tunnels to Towers Foundation presented Patterson with its Richie Shirer Memorial Scholarship Award, which honors the memory of the New York City Office of Emergency Management’s former director who served at the time of the 2001 attacks on the World Trade Center.

“My father, Esau G. Patterson Jr., was and is my hero,” Patterson told Tunnels to Towers supporters upon accepting the organization’s award. “From all the stories my family would tell me, they always said I was my father’s child, and we were like twins. I may not have known him, but I one thing I can say is I am proud, and I am blessed to have had a dad like him.”

While no longer active with ROTC, Patterson still has her sights set on a military career, which she plans to combine with her interests in psychology and criminal justice. After graduation, she plans to enlist in the U.S. Army and hopes to gain experience as an enlisted soldier and further her career as an Army officer. After completing her military career, she plans to work for Homeland Security in the Human and Sex Trafficking Department. 

Adjusting to being a Gold Star Survivor

During his service in Operation Iraqi Freedom, Staff Sgt. Patterson was sweeping for improvised-explosive devices in Baghdad when a vehicle approached his unit. The driver detonated a bomb, killing Patterson and seven other servicemembers.

“Now, especially through my Freedom Alliance work, I understand [being a Gold Star child] to have a meaning far greater than I ever realized,” she said. “Now, as a Gold Star child, I feel like that’s just my job to give back in some way to those who’ve given to and supported me.”

Remembering how her mom reacted to her father’s death and how she stepped in throughout her life has given Patterson a greater appreciation for the tremendous responsibilities placed on Gold Star spouses’ and parents’ shoulders.

“When I think back, surviving spouses experience the worst of it, because now that they’re a single parent, they’re having to play the role of both parents,” Patterson said. “Things move so fast that they don’t have the chance to grieve, and they don’t have the chance to heal. In a sense, I think my mom is still going through that healing process — nearly 20 years later.”

“Supporting Gold Star children like Kiki is integral to keeping her father’s memory alive, and we are honored to have her represent Freedom Alliance,” said Freedom Alliance President Tom Kilgannon. “Amplifying the voices of our Student Ambassadors is crucial to helping communicate and educate others on the many sacrifices made by our military families.”

In addition to keeping her father’s memory alive, Patterson is mindful of the other seven in her father’s unit who also died with him. She explained that she attends the National Infantry Museum’s annual Global War on Terrorism memorial event for Gold Star families around each observance of 9/11. The museum’s Global War on Terrorism Memorial bears the names of the 7,000-plus soldiers, sailors, airmen and marines who have given their lives in defense of our nation since Sept. 11, 2001. This includes Staff Sgt. Patterson and the other seven from his unit — Spc. James L. Beckstrand, Sgt. Ryan M. Campbell, Pfc. Norman Darling, Sgt. Jeffery F. Dayton, Pfc. Jeremy R. Ewing, Pfc. Ryan E. Reed, and Spc. Justin B. Schmidt — whose names are grouped together on the monument.

No matter how many rubbings she’s done over the years, every year she does another one of the names of her father and his fellow servicemen. She has also made sure the families of those who died with her dad but can’t visit the memorial in person have their own rubbings.

“I [get a rubbing] every year despite already having so many sheets of paper with their names on it,” she explained. “I do it because it’s like a sign of remembering and keeping their memories alive.”

About the Freedom Alliance and the Freedom Alliance Scholarship Fund

Freedom Alliance is a charitable organization providing help and support to wounded troops and military families. Since the 9/11 terrorist attacks, it has awarded more than $23 million in college scholarships to more than 2,500 children of heroes killed or permanently disabled in military service and directed millions more to helping injured veterans and their families with outdoor therapy trips, Heroes Retreats, care packages, mortgage-free homes, all-terrain chairs and more. 

There are an estimated 7,000 youths who have lost a parent in Afghanistan or Iraq and the vast majority have not yet attended college. It is estimated that over the next 10 years, 5,500 children of service members killed in action (KIA) — and thousands more who become permanently disabled — will be eligible for the scholarship.

Through its Scholarship Fund, Freedom Alliance provides financial backing for children of fallen or wounded heroes to complete their studies at trade schools, community colleges or four-year institutions. Patterson indicated the Freedom Alliance scholarship she received helps beyond her military-dependent tuition assistance by covering the cost of books, housing and other college essentials. She’s looking forward to connecting more military students and dependents with Freedom Alliance resources.

“We’re able to provide resources so [Columbus State Gold Star] students have access to what they need for their studies,” Patterson said, “and most importantly, so they understand that they matter and the sacrifice their families made doesn’t go unnoticed.”

Freedom Alliance’s Kilgannon indicated the program, however, is more than just scholarships.

“In addition to the scholarship, we aim to provide mentorship and to connect the students with others who share this unique experience,” he said. 

Learn about Freedom Alliance at FreedomAlliance.org. Scholarship applications for the upcoming academic year are available online at FAScholarship.com.

Media contacts:
Michael Tullier, APR, Executive Director of Strategic Communication + Marketing, 706.507.8729, mtullier@columbusstate.edu 
Julie Capobianco, Vistra Communications, 813.369.5187, JulieC@ConsultVistra.com